Legalism, Lust, Porn, and Adultery

I'm tired so tired of all the smoke screens in churchianity.  All the fakeness. ALL.  Can't we just talk about life and be real?  Can we just stop pretending we're perfect people living in a perfect world?  Please? 

I'm 34 years old I think, and I've been married for over 15 years of that time.  To a man.  A normal man with issues from his past and childhood, stuff he has to deal with just like anyone else.  I'm a woman, formerly quite naive and stupid with no understanding of what it's like to be a man though having many other kinds of issues to deal with myself.  This is what I like to call 'life'.  Or more accurately, life in the fallen world which is only temporary.

Over the years, I've watched many marriages fall apart due to adultery etc...I've seen couples work hard to put up shiny happy images of their relationship for years only to find out they had all kinds of stuff going on in reality.  They never asked anyone for help, never admitted they were having trouble.  I know what that's like!  We've had our share of stuff to deal with, stuff that's normal if we'd only stop hiding it from each other.  Everyone thinks their problems are so much worse than anyone else's because everyone is LYING.  Yes, they're LYING.  I'm not saying there aren't any happy couple, but what I'm saying is that the truly happy couple are not perfectly happy and they will be honest with you about their problems.  Yes, HONEST.  What an idea, revolutionary!  (As a side note, I find it quite funny and refreshing that some of the people we thought were the most screwed up because they let everything out there now seem to be happy and are still together!)

If you ask me about problems in my marriage I'll tell you.  Send me an email and see.  Ask me anything, yes, anything.  You might not like what you hear but I don't mind sharing with anyone who would like to know.  You wives out there, did you know that many times your husband is told not to be honest with you about lust, porn, or any sexual struggles they might have?  That gets filed away under "she doesn't need  to know, just share it with another man" .  What a bunch of crap!  The best thing Aaron ever did for our marriage was to tell me everything he was dealing with, everything. 

And the best thing we can do now is not ever hide any of those problems from others but be honest about reality, because what's reality for us is reality for so many other people.  And here's the biggest secret:  once you stop hiding it the power is gone.  Once you realize that shame and guilt are the lie, the power of whatever  'sin' you fight against so pitifully just kind of melts away in the light of truth. 

This is a rant.  I'm sick of the self-righteous fake holiness air hovering over the spiritual people who claim or pretend not to ever deal with these kinds of things.  These are the very people who usually end up on the news caught doing the very things they vowed to have no interest in.   Haven't we gotten the message yet?  Have all the teaching and rules and regulations about what to look at, listen to, touch, or get near worked?  Or have they turned people into obsessive compulsive slaves to anything that will destroy their lives and families? 

Let's stop with the scarlet letter on people too, as if we were immune to any sin or temptation.  Let's view people according to the gospel, as washed clean and carrying the life of Christ in them.  And let's treat them as God treats them, not as their sins deserve.  Because it won't be long until you might be needing a little mercy yourself, and you won't find that in the law you used to whack somebody over the head with.

P.S. I love you all and I want you to be happy and free. No condemnation even to you fakers out there, I know you're scared out of your wits...