A Troubled heart
Joh 13:36 Simon Peter said to Him, Lord, where do You go? Jesus answered him, Where I go you cannot now follow Me, but you shall follow Me afterward.
Joh 13:37 Peter said to Him, Lord, why cannot I follow You now? I will lay down my life for Your sake.
Joh 13:38 Jesus answered him, Will you lay down your life for My sake? Truly, truly, I say to you, The cock shall not crow until you have denied Me three times.
Joh 14:1 Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me.
Joh 14:2 In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
Joh 14:3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, so that where I am, you may be also.
Peter had a trouble heart and it manifested in such a classical way. He wanted to be with Jesus all the time and did not see that Jesus was preparing the way for him. In his ignorance and because of his troubled heart he was willing to sacrifice greatly to get to the place he desired and soon found out that human effort will always fail you when it comes to the things of God. A heart that is ignorant of the provision that is made by Jesus will always be looking towards self sacrifice to reach what is given for free.
Doesn’t matter what you face even when things does not make sense simply ask God to show you how Jesus has prepared the way and you will never have a troubled heart.