Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I hate my pride, I love my Saviour

So last week-end I went to a songwriter's retreat. I guess there were about 15 people from 3 or 4 different churches. I spent all day writing a song, a worship song of course, and then showed up to this invitation only event with--------. Wow. I must be special. Except no one is ever going to sing any of my songs. No one will ever take the time to really help me be a better songwriter, or fix my song so that people will sing it. Blah blah blah. Who cares? Is there anyone more arrogant than me on the face of this earth? Maybe, but they're not saved. I am, so I'm thinking there should be a difference . Anyway, maybe God really is changing me a little bit. The next morning in church I was actually worshipping to the great song of one of the attendees of the retreat. I wasn't analyzing, comparing, or degrading any worship song. "Now if that isn't a true blue miracle, I don't know what one is" (sesame street song in case you wondering). Anyway, I guess I'll keep on writing songs. I hate the pride that comes out of it, but it's there in my heart whether I see it or not. It's good to see what's really in your heart I think, it keeps from thinking you're holier than you really are, and it makes you turn to the only one who can take sin away. I still need a Saviour. Everyday I can see the disgusting ugly truth about my sin, the more I thank God for grace, for the cross. So I hate my pride, but I love my Saviour even more--"he who has been forgiven much, loves much". Hey, that reminds me of a song....

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