Tuesday, February 22, 2005

no more songs

I used to write songs all the time before I had kids around. Then I still wrote but not very often, still, at least every month or two. The last time I wrote a song was in May of last year. I don't know if I have any more songs to write. I was the only one who ever sang them or even heard them for the most part. Of course God heard them too. I know that's supposed to be enough, but for me I think it became very discouraging. I'm sure that's because I think too much of myself. I hear songs on the radio ( when I'm forced to listen to it) and think how terrible most of it is. It makes me want to scream or worse. Kind of like this Tsunami Relief concert I went to with my sister in Toronto not long ago. It was pure agony. Turned out to be 90% students of what must be the worst performing arts school in the world. It kind of reminded me of all the tortuous "specials' we had to sit through growing up in church. Only this went on and on and we couldn't leave until my sister had performed. We're not sure how she really ended up on the play list.... anyway.... In general I don't make music a very significant part of my life anymore and I think it's contributing to the depressing aspect of it. I guess music is a gift and somehow I've misplaced many of the gifts I used to love and appreciate. I don't know, but maybe I'll look for it under my huge pile of dirty laundry.

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